I never considered myself much of a writer.
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I remember sitting down in my English 101 class freshmen year of college and thinking to myself, "I hate writing." I've always loved to read, but something about the actual task of compiling one's thoughts onto a piece of paper in a cohesive and grammatically correct format, well... it just didn't excite me! I was always the girl who rushed her essays, turned in papers to professors that were sub-par at best because I found that writing about a topic that I didn't resonate with was like typing on a laptop with sad music and rain outside the windows *cue the movie scene!*
Until I met you. And I realized that my actions not only carried power but my words, whether spoken or sang or typed did, as well! And I recognized my superpower, writing love letters to people desperately searching for them. I started my Blog, Instagram, and eventually compiled all the magic I am and know and desire to share with the world into a formatted, neatly typed text boxes on pages for you, my love.
So you may feel supported and understood. That you may feel empowered and inspired. That you may feel heard and validated that you are never alone and that you must never give up: fighting the fight for your freedom with food, your body and your life!
I wrote these books for you, my fearless fighter. I hope you take my hand and enjoy them together.
Sincerely, XO Emily
Gaining a Life
I had told myself the same thing about a million and one times, the #1 reason I was never going to leave my food rules & restrictions behind...
I didn't want to gain weight.
I couldn't fathom the fear around feeling like I had 'failed' my diet or my body if I ever saw the scale go up.
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I was always worried about my appearance. Thinking I was too short, wide, tall, lanky. If you'd asked me, "Well, Em, what does your perfect body look like?" I couldn't have told ya! I just knew that whatever I looked like then just wasn't good enough and this dissatisfaction with my body led to me always being dissatisfied in how I ate. I would change my diet at the drop of a dime if I didn't lose a dime's worth of weight that hour. I would cut out any & all foods that were deemed 'bad' by the media, in the hopes that it would make me more 'good.' All of this led me into the cycle of feel bad about yourself >> heavily restrict your food >> over-exercise >> binge eat >> get angry you binge ate >> and start all over again!
So, I started to share how I overcame this constant food cycling with my followers, friends, and clients, but I realized something along the way as I slowly began to build my business & brand up >>
You had only known the Emily now.
You had only known me after much of my food struggles had occurred. You knew me now as the girl who LOVED Tostitos Lime Chips, who ate salads sometimes and pizza some other times, who preached about how it's okay to cry, which I do a lot, and who wanted to help you end your never-ending war with food.
But, you didn't really know how bad I used to be with food. How it used to control my every second of every day, how I never thought about anything else or never missed a day at the gym or a morning weigh in on the scales. You had only ever known mostly the after Em.
& that wasn't going to cut it for me
Because I remember when I was struggling with food and I would see all of these inspirational Instagram pages, YouTube videos, and podcast episodes about how great life was for them after they had recovered! WHICH I THOUGHT WAS AMAZING! I was beyond happy for them & of course, it gave me hope that I to one day could not always worry over my diet and body, but it also hurt me in a way because I began to tell myself, "Yeah, but I bet they never struggled as badly as you did and I bet you will never get out of this cycle then!" I wasn't trying to play victim or to make my problems seem bigger than anyone else's, it was more my brain loved to tell me that recovery was great for them & possible for them, but for me.... it wasn't even an option.
So, that's what made me write my book!
To prove that voice in your head WRONG!!
To show how deep my food insecurities, worries, and battles with food really went! That I was just like you and you weren't alone or stuck or crazy! I understand exactly how it feels to want so badly to enjoy food freely, yet you can't seem to believe that you will ever achieve it for yourself!
I wrote my book to prove that if I can live life off the scales, calorie-counting apps, food fears, dieting Mondays, binging cycles late at night then you can too!
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Gaining a Life: The Untold Story of My Eating Disorder & Recovery
It consists of two parts: my true struggle with food & then how I left that pain behind me once and for all!
It also includes tangible exercises that helped me stop food obsessing or food fearing for good!
I share my past with you and show you what happens when you leave your disorderly eating & poor food relationship behind....
You gain a life.