• Emily Formea

Confidence is THE Key

First and foremost, what is confidence?


There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance. I believe a lot of the times we are tricked into believing that being confident is being ‘full of ourselves’ or ‘big-headed,’ so allow me to show what confidence means to me.


Confidence is not thinking you are better than everyone else. Confidence is believing that no one is better than you.


Confidence is not arrogance and confidence is not something you should be ashamed of possessing, in fact, I would argue your bigger concern should be not having enough confidence versus having too much.


Confidence means you care about yourself; it means you understand or at least are trying to value and respect your own worth in this world. Confidence is accepting yourself for who you are right here and now and not for the person you wish to be or believe you must be.

Confidence is speaking your truth and following your dreams. Confidence is being un-apologetically your authentic self.


That’s confidence.


Confidence is not putting others beneath you, but rather pulling yourself up to where everyone else resides.


We tend to hold others much higher than we hold ourselves, for better and for worst.

We always hold ourselves to a harsher (sometimes unattainable) standard. Confidence is not knocking other people down, but rather raising yourself up.


Confidence is not envious.


If you are confident in yourself and your abilities, you should not be threatened by others or their lives, successes, looks, possessions, etc.


Am I incredibly confident in myself?

No, I’m not.


I struggle to understand why people like me or want me around. I think many, MANY people are above me and I don’t deserve to reside up there with them. I think I talk too much and sometimes too loudly. I worry that I am a burden or that I don’t help others enough.

However, I’m confidently working on it.


I am working on my confidence journey, you could say. Are you? Should you be? I genuinely believe that you can never have too much confidence because true confidence does not hurt others, but rather, only helps.


Do you want to know my secret trick as I have been confidently working on my confidence journey?

Do not wait for confidence. Do not change for confidence. Just be confident.

There is no right or wrong time.


Confidence is like a weight loss journey

People think they will be happy once they lose twenty pounds. If this is your true, honest mindset… you won’t be happy.

You may lose weight or you may not, but you won’t be happy either way.

If you believe you will be beautiful once you get a facial, tan, and nose job… you won’t think you are beautiful after you get your facial, tan and nose job.


We live in a world where the emphasis is on the outside. You know why? Surprisingly, it is much easier to change our outsides than our insides. Confidence starts on the inside.

Be happy now.

Be beautiful now.

Be confident now.


And how do you carry out this confidence journey?


1. Start Now

I always thought I needed to check change things about myself first to then be confident with who I was inside. However, the opposite was true. The more I searched for this ‘different person’ I so desperately thought I needed to be, the worse I felt about the wonderful person I was. Don’t ‘wait till Monday.’ Don’t think that you have to alter your life, looks, appearance, or personality to be confident… that will only make you more lost. You have every right to be confident now. You deserve it. You need to embrace it. Stick up for yourself. Believe in yourself. And start doing that right now.


2. Start Proud

Confidence is a very odd thing. The more I tried to ‘find myself’ and ‘become confident in my skin’ the more I found myself trying to mimic and morph into others. I thought I needed to blend to be confident; that I needed to follow the crowd to gain their self-respect. Once again… the opposite is true. If you find yourself trying to change who you are or trick yourself into believing you need to look like this model or wear this outfit to be confident, shut that down real quick. Be proud of who you are and what you have to offer the world. Confidence is realizing that the world needs someone like you and you are proud to offer it! Be authentic, be goofy, be loud, be different, don’t think you have to be a chameleon to carry a large smile. Be proud in who you are and what you have to share with others and the world.


3. And Start Strong!

Dive in. The biggest tip I can give others on how I gained (and am still working on gaining) confidence is simply pretending like I never lived a day without it. The saying, “Fake it till you make it,” is a pretty powerful sentence. I just dove in. I didn’t think of changing who I was, I didn’t think of what could happen, how others could judge me, etc. I truly woke up and was confident… or so I told myself until I really started to believe it. Start respecting yourself more. Start standing up for yourself more. Start pulling yourself up with the gusto of the most confident person alive. Fake it till you wholeheartedly believe it. Start strong because it is a hard journey ahead of you, but a worthy one at that, so give it all you got and never look back because you have been confident all along and you now always will be;)


No one is better than you because you are just as good as everyone else.

Everyone has struggles. Everyone has insecurities. Everyone has failures.

You are on the same level as everyone else, which means you deserve just the same level of love, respect, and support that you show others every day.


You deserve to be heard, seen, adored, and supported by yourself first and foremost and once that reality sets in, others will only be allowed to treat you just the same.


Confidence is key. Confidence is the only key.


Sincerely,

Emily

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