Manifestation & Visualization Hack: Food Freedom Addition
I’m sure we’ve all seen the blog posts, podcasts, Instagram captions and book covers gleaming and glistening with the words manifestation or visualization or if we’re being honest, usually both!
Phrases such as:
“Live as your highest self.”
“Believe in your greater version.”
“Picture the woman you want to become. Live like her!”
What in the hootinana (spell check for sure!) does any of that mean?!
And more importantly, how can it actually help you?
Well, I can tell you how it helped me:)
I was always the girl who didn’t understand manifestation. In fact, I didn’t really believe in it either and for the purpose of total transparency, I for sure never practiced it.
I felt it was more for the ‘spiritual folk.’ I didn’t really buy the whole, “Ask the Universe whatever your heart desires and you’ll wake up with a puppy at the foot of your bed by Thursday,” sort of thing.
Would that be COMPLETELY epic and life-altering if I could do that? Yes!
Is that what manifestation is all about? Not exactly.
So, suffice it to say, I never really gave it a second thought. That was, until I was sort of faced with no other option. If you didn’t know this about me, I struggled with eating disorders (ranging from one extreme to the next) for the greater half of my young life. I tried therapy, meditation, medication, meditation with medication, books, podcasts, YouTube videos, diets, no diets, eating way too much, eating nothing. When I say I tried everything under the Sun…. I truly have.
But nothing ever helped me heal.
Sure, I would feel better for about a month, maybe two, maybe three, but then the old habits, tendencies, and turmoils would swoop back in and I would end up back at square one. Or worse, even lower than that.
Why couldn’t I get better!?
Why no matter what I tried I would fall again?
Why did old thoughts, emotions, actions, EVERYTHING always return?
Oh, is it not obvious, young Emily?
You expected it too.
My eating disorder had become my identity. It was all I had known for over 8 years. It was my best friend, ride or die, internal voice. It was my comfort, consistency. It dictated how I acted, who I spent time with, where I went and what I didn’t dare to eat.
It truly wrote my narrative for the entire second half of my novel.
And I expected it to come back.
I couldn’t be the girl to ACTUALLY heal and live a life without an eating disorder! That was terrifying! Almost alien-like to me! I couldn’t even fathom what it would be like if I didn’t worry about food. Couldn’t even begin to comprehend what life could feel like without tracking my calories. I’d woken up for 8 years straight, obsessed and fearful of food.
And I didn’t believe it would ever be any different.
Therefore, no matter what blogger I read, account I followed, therapist I spoke with, I was planning to fail.
Subconsciously I didn’t believe I could get better. And if you can’t believe something, you can’t create it to be your reality.
This is where manifestation and visualization come in.
I had to FULLY believe, visualize, breath as, think like, walk and talk as if, move, be, embrace, act, live like I was free from my eating disorder.
I had to start within my brain and work outwardly!
I would sit in my chair every morning and visualize my day without an eating disorder.
How did I dress?
What did I do for a living?
Who did I talk to?
What did I spend my day thinking about?
What was my favorite meal or restaurant?
What sorts of hobbies did I have?
Who was Emily without her eating disorder?
This was the visualization step! For months, I would do this exercise every morning and evening. At first, it felt like complete bullsh**. Being honest! I would question it. I would instantly hear the negative, doubting thoughts spring into action. The voice telling me I couldn’t get better, that was impossible, this was stupid.
Ya know what’s stupid? Not trying to change your life from the source that’s causing you the pain in the first place. I.E. your brain:)
If you don’t believe you can get better, you won’t.
If you don’t believe you can heal, you can’t.
When I say that your belief is EVERYTHING when it comes to recovery, I’m shaking typing it out. Because it is so real, important, true and painful, but must be changed for you to change.
Describe yourself to yourself: without your disorder.
Then, every single day think about her. Think about you. Think about how badly you want that life. Feel it. Visualize it. Write it on your wall. Become obsessed with this healthier and happier version of you. Tattoo on your booty! Don’t tattoo it on your booty.
The manifestation comes from that belief seed. The tree will grow and take root the more times it’s nourished and watered. The more times you shut down the doubt, the more times you repeat and ingrain your new belief about yourself, the more times you ignore the pulling in your chest to turn back and stay the way you are, that tree is growing baby! And it’s time to manifest it.
Start to live like that version of you. Start to dress like her. Move like her. Does she go out for drinks with friends? Drink up, girl! (Safely;) Does she bake cookies around the holidays? Turn on the oven! Does she wear makeup because it makes her feel more confident? Sephora here we come! The more you take aligned action with your new belief, the better! Because every single time you make a conscious effort to alter your belief about your identity, you make a new root in your subconscious regarding the same.
And the less you allow yourself to expect.
The less you will plan to fail.
The less you will inadvertently pull yourself down.
The less you will fit that old shell.
Visualize. Become obsessed. Consistency is key. Shut that doubting voice down hard. Shut it down again. Live like the healthier, higher version of you. Smile. Cry a shit ton. And then keep moving forward. Repeat.
And to the girl who thinks this whole blog sounds like a bunch of malarkey (once again spell check), is that your higher self supporting you to change, or your current disorderly voice begging you to stay?