• Emily Formea

The Coolest Thing

The absolute coolest thing you can do is what you feel like is cool.

The best way you can live your life is to live a life that you want to live.

The happiest you will ever be is to be the happiest version of yourself.

I remember worrying that if I was not thin then I wasn’t pretty. If I wasn’t pretty then I wasn’t cool, popular, acceptable, beautiful, etc. For me, the root of my insecurity was not my weight at all, but rather what other people thought of me. I believed that people would like me more if I looked like society's perfect image of beauty and perfection. However, the reality left me hating myself more than I ever have in my entire life.

For many, there insecurities are insecurities ranging from the top of their heads to the bottom of their toes. We constantly worry about what other people think. We have a society that encourages buying the newest product, the coolest clothes, the most hip techy devices whether we need or do not need them. If we don’t look like this then we cannot live a life like that. If we do not dress this way then it’s not even kind of worthy of posting the photo online. We are not brought up to be unique, but rather copies of celebrities we see glistening on magazine covers. We have become further and further from our true selves and more and more close to being the exact same person sitting next to us.

I used to think the only way to live was to mimic others. How not cool.

The world doesn’t need more copies, trust me.

I thought I needed to dress like the pretty girls online.

Turns out I really love wearing Goodwill sweaters!

I had to eat like the models in the magazines.

Turns out I ADORE carbs and I will never again refuse guacamole till the day I die.

I had to live like my friends did or dream like my family intended me to dream.

Turns out I have always wanted to travel the world. I hate settling down and really have always dreampt of being an online coach, blogger, or influencer and just helping other people while I run around and find myself.

I literally did not have an identity when I was deep in my eating disorder, but this doesn’t only apply to people battling eating disorders. We, as young adults, are told to act like this, work for this company, start small, don’t live outside the lines. Dreaming has become child’s play. Working smarter is a joke and don’t even try to wear off brand clothes.

I always worried that I wasn’t good enough, but what was I trying to be good enough for? What was I desperately trying to be thin enough for or beautiful enough for? To act, look, talk, and live like everyone else? In the most twisted way, I thought the only way to be accepted was to not be me. Looking back at my high school self, I wish I could tell her, “Hey, ya know the coolest thing in the world? Not being like everyone else.”

Do what you want to do. Say what you feel. Talk silly. Dream big. Eat ice cream. Wear weird sweaters. Talk in rhymes. Dance to no music at all. Travel the world alone. Be with friends constantly. Paint your face in makeup. Never straighten your hair. Only talk about how much you love yoga. Write poetry. Be a drama queen. Be kind to others. Don’t give a fuck about people. Sit in chairs backwards. Drink smoothies. Compliment that girl in the dress. Give money to a homeless man. Ignore negativity like the plague.

Stop pretending that acting like someone else makes your happy. Honestly, all I ask is that you’re you.

That’s it.

I have fought so long to not be myself.

For what?

So I could completely lose all my own shine?

So I could just be another printed copy walking around in clothes I hated, in makeup that made me uncomfortable, and working a job that made me exhausted each and every day? Do you know how many times I’ve just wanted to sit down and talk about the power of the Universe with people? Then, do you know how many times I never did this because I was terrified that people would judge me. I was so scared that I would sound foolish. I was terrified because we see ‘different’ as bad and bad as stupid and no one wants to feel judged or stupid.

The same thing with my blog and now my online business. I wish I had started this years ago! I’ve always had the same dreams, the same goals, the same aspirations, the same stories/experiences/thoughts, but damn I was so scared. I was so terrified that my blog would not be “accepted” by people. Being vulnerable was not the cool thing to do. I should shut up and keep walking the exact same path as everyone else.

“Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

Let me tell you, I ‘ve never met more kind, caring, genuine, beautiful, intelligent, talented, and caring individuals than the people in my life who take off the mask. The people who are super weird or shy or hippie or jocky. The people with struggles, anxiety, fears, and insecurities. The people who aren’t afraid to be upset. The people who look forward to living their life and not the life of others.

The people who have been judged are always the last to judge others.

When you meet people who are authentic and you surround yourself with others who don’t pretend, copy, or imitate you realize the person you truly are and the person you should always have been. And you become happy.

You become so freaking happy you don’t know what to do.

People will think whatever they want of you. In the end, it’s more a reflection of themselves and has absolutely nothing to do with you, so stop giving it all the power and clout as if your life depended on their stamp of approval on your forehead. The coolest thing you can do is be the person you are and do the things that make you happy, that bring a smile to your face, a warmth in your heart, and a laugh to your days. Be super weird or quiet or confused. Be unsure. Be a dreamer. Wear a onesie if that makes you happy. Read every single night for hours. Buy the most expensive purse in the world. Learn another language. Meditate every morning. Only eat popcorn on the weekends. Literally do whatever you want and be the person you actually are.

The coolest thing you can do is not give a care in the world of what the world deems cool.

The coolest thing you can do is you.

And my, oh my, does this world need you.



Sincerely, XO Emily || 2020

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