• Emily Formea

~Get Off the Plane~ How to refuse to accept unfulfillment and change

We’re told that we have one path. One destiny. One major. One job, significant other we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with. We’re destined to struggle maybe with anxiety or depression. Some of us are born failures and some of us are noble successors who have never encounter hardships a day in their lives.

Let me tell you something. Get off the crashing plane.

We are all riding this plane through the air. I think the number one thing I hear when I talk to people who are unhappy with their lives is this sentence, “Well, I don’t want to deal with it.”

  • Deal with what?

  • Deal with that you feel anxious?

  • Deal with that maybe you realized you hate your major in college?

  • Deal with that you don’t get along with your boyfriend anymore or you know that you need to move apartments, however, it’s easier to just renew your lease?

  • Deal with that you know you can make changes to make your life better, but you would rather stay comfortable than thriving?

If you bought a ticket to France and halfway through your flight the plane started to go down and you were offered a parachute, would you say, “Yeah, but I bought the ticket?” We are 100% responsible for our lives, which means we either choose or allow all things to happen to us.

What does that mean?

That means that when I graduated from college with an undergraduate degree in political science, I had bought my government ticket. I was supposed to go to DC, which I did. I was supposed to get a prestigious job working for the House of Representatives. I did. I was supposed to climb the ladder. I sort of did. Then, I was supposed to arrive in France.

I did not.

Ya see I was caught in a crazy thunderstorm right over the Atlantic Ocean. I hated my job. I didn’t feel fulfilled in the slightest. I was overworked and certainly underpaid. I spent many mornings anxious on the train in and crying on the train out. I was very unhappy.

Many parachutes came my way. I was offered a job at my college back home. I passed it up. I was offered a job at my nonprofit actually in DC, but I threw the parachute back in their face. Until the moment my nose was inches from the ground, I was focused on France.

Here is where this conversation gets fun.

Why did I want to go to France so badly?

If the entire plane ride was a disaster. I was unhappy, unhealthy, and miserable the entire time. I felt lonely and disassociated with people around me on the plane and especially with myself. Was France going to change any of that? I would argue not.

I was about a foot from the crash when I quit my job. I raised my hand on the plane and exclaimed, “Give me that parachute!” Strapped it on my shaky back and jumped out.

I didn’t want to live my life crashing. I didn’t want to live my life in France.

My parents may have wanted me to go there. My own ego that feared being judged really wanted me to arrive in England. I had bought a ticket. I had studied the thing. I had done the work. I was still doing the work. I was supposed to be on this plane.

And every single day, the flames on that plane engulfed me just a little bit more.

Now, was the plane my job and was France my future? Sort of.

I see it more as the plane was what I believed myself to be.

I believed myself to be this scared, stupid, silly, and insignificant girl who better like her first job because she was never going to get another. The girl who knew that her ultimate dream was to be a blogger, coach, speaker, friend, and role model to other girls just like her, but pushed that dream way down because ‘get real, Emily.’ The girl that had purchased the ticket out of fear and not desire. The girl who was struggling with eating, sleeping, saving, and you guessed it….. Believing.

We don’t believe we can get off the plane. Why? Because it’s much more comfortable to ride the old vibrations of the person we believed to be and will never grow out of. I didn’t think I would make it out there. I didn’t think I deserved the parachute. That’s a huge one. And I believed that France was just where I was supposed to go whether I wanted to vacation there or not.

I hear this all the time from people who study one thing and hate the career path it leads them to. The, “I just don’t want to deal with it.” You don’t want to deal with your slow crash? You don’t want to get out of your old self? Let me tell you something, “When you let go of something, you are only stressed because you can only comprehend what you are losing, you cannot comprehend or have the capacity to understand what you will be gaining.” When you let go of your old narrative.

When you let go of your old shell.

When you let go of your old limiting beliefs.

It’s freaking terrifying.

Because I could only see what I had just turned away. France.

I had turned away France and that’s where I was supposed to go, had to, would die trying to get there.

Says who? Not me, I can tell you that right now.

My ego, my fear, social pressures, societal norms told me to go to England.

I jumped out of the plane and landed in Boston.

I jumped out of the plane and started my own business.

I jumped out of the plane and began living my dream, manifesting my reality, spreading the light, love, and secrets that I had learned as I descended downward.

I wanted to go to Boston, not France.

To say, “Well you bought the ticket though,” meaning this is your path right now, this is the groove you are in, the vibrations you are giving off and receiving, the stresses that hold you down, the disbelief you have about yourself is “something you don’t want to deal with.”

Deal with it.

Do you know how many people live their ENTIRE lives crashing? More than I can imagine.

Don’t be the person on the plane who is offered a parachute and they say, “No, I already bought the ticket.”

There is no rule, law, or rhythm of this Earth that says this is your only destiny. That this is how it is always going to be. There is no person who is holding you down (except maybe yourself). There is nothing that says you always have to struggle financially, you always have to clock in and out at a job you hate, you always have to be in a toxic relationship. You always have to spend your days praying for the weekend to come. You do not always have to envy others around you or know you aren’t living your dream. You never have to deny your passion or what sets your heart on fire.

You never have to go to France.

Take accountability, responsibility, determination, and belief, and please, please take that parachute.


XO Emily

Sincerely, XO Emily || 2020

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